Canadian Politics went crazy while I was in the US

As far as I can tell:

Conservatives – “Fuck this recession shit. We’re not spending no money. Also, we’re going to take away the funding for other parties.”

Liberals – “The hell you are! We’re outraged about the funding thing! Also, the recession stuff. Hey, voters, do you see this non-recession shit they’re pulling?”

NDP – “You know, we should team up and beat the shit outta these fuckers.”

Liberals – “That’s a great idea. It’s time for a handicap match!”

Cons – “Nuh-uh. You can’t beat me even if you work together!”

NDP – “Oh ya? What if we bring the Frenchies in?”

PQ – “Oui, nous sommes prêts à BAGARRE!”

Cons – “Oh shit! Hey, voters, check these fuckers out trying to gang up on me with SEPARATISTS!!!”

Lib/NDP Voltron – “We’re not letting them on the team; we’re just gonna let them throw us steel chairs and distract the ref while we kick your ass.”

Cons – “Oh ya? You’re messing with the dirtiest player in the game! Maybe we’re not going to hold any matches for while then. Maybe I’m going to go see the Governor General and ask her to suspend, yanno, democracy for a while!”

Lib/NDP Voltron – “You dirty fucker! We’re gonna write her a letter!”

Tune in next time for more Canadian Political Smackdown!


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