As far as I can tell:

Conservatives – “Fuck this recession shit. We’re not spending no money. Also, we’re going to take away the funding for other parties.”

Liberals – “The hell you are! We’re outraged about the funding thing! Also, the recession stuff. Hey, voters, do you see this non-recession shit they’re pulling?”

NDP – “You know, we should team up and beat the shit outta these fuckers.”

Liberals – “That’s a great idea. It’s time for a handicap match!”

Cons – “Nuh-uh. You can’t beat me even if you work together!”

NDP – “Oh ya? What if we bring the Frenchies in?”

PQ - “Oui, nous sommes prêts à BAGARRE!”

Cons – “Oh shit! Hey, voters, check these fuckers out trying to gang up on me with SEPARATISTS!!!”

Lib/NDP Voltron – “We’re not letting them on the team; we’re just gonna let them throw us steel chairs and distract the ref while we kick your ass.”

Cons – “Oh ya? You’re messing with the dirtiest player in the game! Maybe we’re not going to hold any matches for while then. Maybe I’m going to go see the Governor General and ask her to suspend, yanno, democracy for a while!”

Lib/NDP Voltron – “You dirty fucker! We’re gonna write her a letter!”

Tune in next time for more Canadian Political Smackdown!

I don’t know if you know this, but apparently, McCain was once a POW.  This has resulted in such things as him loving ABBA, not knowing how many houses he owns, and so on.

In light of this, I’m compiling a list of things caused by McCain once having been a POW. Feel free to offer your own!

Things caused by McCain once having been a POW:

-likes to use the term “chums”
-wets himself when he sees a white cat
-prefers drinking Johnny Walker Black
-once shot a television with a .357 Magnum because MASH was on
-hates granola bars
-thinks anime’s story lines are overlong and complicated
-can’t figure out his emails
-likes riding rollercoasters

-likes the flavour of lemon drops, but hates lemons
-refuses to use pencils with lead softer than 2B
-once owned a dog he named “Little Gook”, whom he loved with all his heart
-thinks that more drilling is a good solution to the energy crisis, and marital problems
-speaks American, damn it
-doesn’t like dice games with barons and earls
-never made a trip to Harlem dressed in fancy pearls
-thinks Kim Jong-Il’s glasses are ridiculous

-cannot play Metal Slug; too close to home
-wants to go to Paris and sip coffee at a nice café, watching the world go by
-does not believe the expression “takes one to know one”
-erupts into violent action upon smelling vanilla
-still loves baking
-called his wife a cunt
-prefers helicopters to motorcycles
-likes the colour blue
-refuses to wear jewellery of any kind

-the smell of adobo makes him break out in a sweat
-loves NASCAR parties, but not NASCAR
-doesn’t know how to love
-can read Vietnamese menus
-enjoys linedancing
-thinks the word “cornmeal” is just weird, man
-does thirty push ups and sit ups each morning
-doesn’t flush when he pees, only when he shits
-prefers to drive stick

-Hates the Flintstones, loves the Jetsons
-Knows all the words to “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida”
-Doesn’t realize this isn’t impressive, since the song only has two verses
-Secretly longs for a good curry when he’s sick
-Thinks Sarah Palin is a good VP choice
-Hates the Simpsons, loves Futurama, but only the first season
-Believes in America
-Loves fatties

It’s a mighty list.